Zoo Keeper de jour

I love my job. No really, I do. I have so much fun working and the people I work with are great, funny people. Last night was defiantly a night that I felt like the zoo keeper, of the monkey house in particular. There was jumping of doors, plastic bag doo rags and plastic bag made bras (this on someone who says he wants to get into politics and I have the one picture that can ruin his campaign). Now at night I work with mainly teenagers who have adopted me as mom or girlfriend of lesbian side fling (there are questions there I know you are dying to ask but we will leave it as a running joke that started due to the fact Deanna and I refer to each other as our wife). But if I come home with poo flung on me, you all know where it came from!

The "Lighter Side" of Dobby Land (Jul 10)

As you have all read by now, things here in Dobby Land continue to rise and fall on the roller coaster of life. Seeing how the days change at the came rate as Virginian weather, we never know how the day will end.

Our youngest son, Fletcher, has learned that screaming like his brother when he doesn't get his way will get someone to jump through hoops like the puppies in the Circus. Lets take his brothers juice cup for example. Today, Aiden was sitting on the couch watching his favorite movie; (will explain soon) when Fletcher finds that he can't find his juice cup. Low and behold he crawls to his brother like the wonderful Flash Lightning and grabs for his brother's cup. Then the thunder of Aiden's scream rattles through our ears like a pack of nails on a chalk board. Next you can hear mommy yell over the storm for Aileen to get Fletcher a juice cup quick. Next things we know, all is quite as both boys are happy again, for the second.

When Morgan says Aiden is learning how to be a mechanic, she does not mean that daddy and Aiden get out the tools, lift the truck onto jacks, and the lay under the truck talking about all the nuts and bolts. What she fails to mention is that Aiden is sitting under the truck with Daddy demanding he stop pulling on the break lines or the light wires. Then, before Daddy can even get under the truck, we hear from the lovely two-yers-old; "Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!" For those of you who work on cars, you know that "Shot!" equals $$$$$; and lots of it. Daddy, trying to explain that nothing is shot, the truck works fine, then has to pull the little one from the truck before something really becomes; "SHOT!"

"We love Lauren! We LOVE Lauren! WE LOVE LAUREN!" Yes, I must continue to say this through out the day to keep from tying here up by her toes and feeding her to her brothers. I never thought I would have to repeat the same instructions over and over and over ten times, and the task still not get done. I know that with kids you have to expect some delay, however sounding like a broken record that you can't shut off or throw out the window gets a little old fast. Especially when playing the record backwards comes out to "Can I play on the PlayStation now?" I love the fact that children can remember when the want to play games all day long, however can't remember to clean their room for five minutes. Need I say it again? "WE LOVE LAUREN!!!! REALLLLLYYYYYY!"

I am starting to fear for my own life here. As the days go on and on, Aileen has become more talkative about the boys around the neighborhood. Apparently Daddy saying that Home School is just around the corner is not getting thru her head. She does not seem to understand that all this "boy" talk is making her daddy want to by a shotgun that much sooner. On top of all that, my little girl is not being cooperative. Her body is developing at an insane rate, and her daddy does not know how to handle that just yet. Someone tell him it will all be ok. On second thought, save yourself and buy some body armor. I hear the local police will be willing to donate to the needy, and the world will be in need here soon.

Morgan has always been her little own puzzle, however when the experts (doctors) can't seem to find the edge pieces, you start to wounder if they will ever figure out that the picture they are putting together is supposed to be an angel, not the fourth circle of hell. On the plus side, we will always know that the messed up picture will land her with friends. Her loving husband (according to him) tells that he will be there for her no matter what. But sources (Morgan's head) suggests that he will always be there as long as a beer and a game controller is involved. BTW, Morgan, The Game will be available only on the LIFE CONSOLE in late 2009 and will be rated NC-25 but the Federal Gaming Commission. Reserve your copy today by calling 1-888-462-4355. Check your local phone for spelling. Also, Morgan will be starting her book soon. It will be titled "Things You Never Thought You Would Say To Your Kids!"

Will, a.k.a. Little Princess, has received the newest addition to his electronic family. The newest member arrived in the mail the other day, and he has not put it down just yet. Someone remind him to call the shipping company (his parents) and thank them for not leaving breathing holes in the box for the 36 hour trip across country. Work for him has been a lot of laughs here and there. He finally found the light at the end of the table which holds with it an inspector's stamp where he will be responsible for the overall integrity of the equipment leaving the shop. God help the pilots who dare fly in that plane. He is getting ready to meet the USS Lincoln, however is still looking for a way to get someone to take his place. At this moment, it looks like everyone is watching their own back. It is just a matter of time before they look to moving to the West Coast again, where the people are normal, (well, somewhat) and the cities aren't so A$% backwards. Wish them luck.

Well, that concludes this issue. Look next month (or so) for the next issue. Direct all questions to Morgan. Thanks

Bloodsuckers

One of the other things that have come out of all my blood work is the possibility that I have diabetes (among other things but we will tackle them one at a time). So this morning was my fasting 2 hour glucose test. Castro (no joke, that was his name) knows me well by now so he does my initial base line draw and tells me to have a seat. 45 minutes later, I get to down this most awful tasting anti freeze. An hour after that another blood draw and then I sit again. After many conversations, ADD from conflicting radio stations, and being vomited on by a pregnant woman I had one more blood draw. I now look like the poster child for a crack addict with all the needle track marks on my arms. I go back on Monday to find out those results. Oh happy happy joy joy!

Paging doctor who am I seeing today?

Today was another visit to Dr. Farland. He apparently has given me a nickname, his "puzzle girl". He told me today I am out of his league with this and will be handing off my "P" care to the head docs but wanted to work on some of the other issues that showed up in the myriad of tests he and Dr. Barnette ran. Apparently, I have or have had mono. Don't remember that but OK. My cholesterol is thru the friggin roof as was my blood sugar so I get to go in for a 3 hour long diabetes test tomorrow. Joy, just what I wanted, more needles. So for now, we are managing my symptoms with 4 different meds which make me sleepy and the side effects can be hostility and loss of coordination (isn't that what I am taking them for, hmmmm). So as I am falling down and cussing, don't mind me. Or I could fall down swinging and swearing. LOL

Needles and doctors and pain oh my

I know that I have not been well at posting. For awhile (since Will's graduation) I have been swamped with work, the kids, and life in general. Then 6 weeks ago I went to the doctor to finally figure out what the hell has been going on with my legs. They have been cramping since my pregnancy with Fletcher. And it started to spread up my legs to my back, feet, hands, and neck. It is painful and interferes with day to day life. So after 10 vials of blood drawn and a misdiagnoses of restless leg syndrome, I know have a preliminary diagnosis of Parkinson's disease. Now I still have an appointment tomorrow and I have 10 visits to a civilian neurologist (starting on July 30th) but my regular doctor is fairly confident as to that is the issue. So now we get to add that in the mayhem of our daily existence. I will try to get better at posting as to all that is going on. Tomorrow I go again to get the latest round of test results.

Will got the wonderful news of going to the USS Lincoln for a month. He leaves in 2 weeks. On the plus side he will get to see Washington and see if it is some place that he would like to move in 18 months or so.

The kids are all great. Fletcher is trying to walk, Aiden is learning to be a mechanic, Aileen and Lauren are the social butterflies of the neighborhood. I will try to get better at this I swear!