The power of positive thinking
I have wanted to keep this positive and fluffy but if I am going to actually share the real things that go on with the 6 of us I need to start sharing more about my "illness". I know that I told you all that I am on a medical leave of absence. I am going stir crazy with that, toss in the loss of my driving privileges and I am going stark raving mad.
Today has been a bad day. I woke up to the world spinning and then I tried to move. That was my first mistake. Have you ever had those dreams where you were paralyzed and couldn't move for a few seconds or so after waking up? That was me for a good 5 minutes this morning. When I was able to convince my body that I was not ready for the lack of use of my limbs, my back locked up. OMG, that is not a warm fuzzy feeling. No, it was like 30 samurai swords were slammed into my back. Then my hip locked up so I was walking like I had a peg leg. Call the doc cause this is scaring the shit out of me and I am told that since I have an appointment on Friday I am unable to be seen but I am welcome to go to the ER. YEAH RIGHT! So I doubled my dose of pills and that cut my pain and allowed me more mobility. Then I fell UP the stairs. yup, these meds are so FUN!
Aileen came in with an issue with her home work and my hand locked up while holding a piece of paper. She freaked. tears, sobbing wrenching crying. I tried to calm her down and my beautiful 5 foot 4 11 year old crawled on my lap like her baby brother. It broke my heart. I don't think she believed me when I told her that I will be fine as soon as the doctors figure out just what is wrong with me. I only have days like this once a week or so but the pain is always there, the muscles locking happen every day. It scares my kids, terrifies Will, and mortifies me that they have to go thru this. I am doing my best to stay positive but it is getting harder and harder. The loss of my income, the fear that is palpable in this house, the pain, the fact that I am a prisoner in my house and can't go any where with out a chauffeur and adult supervision is just tearing me down. I pray for guidance and I know that God won't give me more then I can handle but I think he is giving my girls and Will more then they can.......
posted by MorganDobson at 9:17 PM
2 Comments:
Morgan, the kids are getting so big. I can't get over Aileen. God blessed you with some beautiful kids old friend. I just wanted to let you know that even though we don't talk anymore (which I miss honestly)you and your family will be in our prayers here. I know the way we left things wasn't good at all. I was very imature back then and I was quite depressed in VB. It's no excuse for the mean things I said to you. I am not asking you to keep in touch, or become friends again. I just wanted to say I am sorry. I could have dealt with things alot differently. I hope one day you can forgive my actions. I have already forgiven many of the things that happened in our friendship. We have been through alot if nothing else. I will always cherish the times we had. We will always care and love your family.
P.S. This was the only way of getting in touch with you. Thanks Will for letting us know about the blog. I have been praying about things for quite sometime because I didn't want to jump into it. You have a link now to our family blog. I bet you will not get over what we are into these days. Lot's has changed but for the better. I hope you feel better soon Morgie. I love you, always have and always will even if it's not returned. Just wanted you to know my feelings.
Regina
This is all just crazy.
I still can't believe my goddaughter, the infant we played with our Senior Year in High School! is now your 5'4" almost adult and protector of her mother. Wow does time fly!
We're praying for you and ... and ... I wish I was wiser and had something brilliant to say!
I'm very impressed by your honesty and I'm sending lots of love and support from the west coast!
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